Saturday, June 14, 2008
sometimes i feel tat life is tough for me...
everythin tat i love to do..things tat i wan to do...i have to think abt my dad..everytime hav to rush home n buy food for him.. worried tat no one look after him..worried tat he cant buy food for himself..worried tat he will get himself drunk and fall down again..my mum dun care abt him..my bro in NS..im goin BOC..so no one at home to look after him..so he is quite helpless..
hirin maid is expensive..so wat can i do?!
wen u look at ur peers..they dun have to worry abt their parents cos they r healthy.. they can channel al their energy to do wat they like but for me..i have to think abt my dad for all the decision i mak..including whether i got time for training or not..whether shld i carry my BOC.. maybe bcos im a worried-freak..worry too much..but if anythin happen..den i will b responsible.. i will tak the blame to myself.. its a burden..draining me..slowly slowly..there r alot of decisions to mak..to many things to consider..its not always abt myself...its aso abt my family..but aren't this my life? cant i do wat i lik w/o concern?
but sometimes i find my life not so tough after al..lookin at al the disasters ard the world..im glad tat i dun hav to worry abt tmr's meal..
23rd onwards wld b a real challenge for me..hav to squeeze in time for BOC, marathon & triathlon training, bf, frens, sleep and home. everyone has 24 hrs per day..ultimately its how u plan ur life..if not..plan to fail..i can oni emerge stronger and nothin else!!!!
 ~ Live for the moment! ~ ;
